Happy Birthday you ugly, old woman
I haven’t posted a while because I was in hiding but sadly, in bed under the covers wasn’t a good enough hiding place because that sneaky, clever birthday found me anyways. Yes, I am speaking to you a whole year older.
In my household, I try my hardest to not make a big deal out of that one time of the year. Why yes, I AM one of those women that turn into huge babies when they grow older. I spent the bulk of
my birthday morning bathing, plucking those pesky grey hairs and lathering on the miracle cream known as moisturizer. Now, if you know me you know that it takes me a whole ten minutes to get ready; throw on some clean clothes, brush the teeth and pull the hair up. So this unfamiliar beauty effort really confused my husband and put my daughter in a particularly wonderful mood. But once I felt I had accomplished erasing the last twelve months from my declining beauty, I just had to seek out the approval of my dear daughter and loving husband. My husband, being the wise man he is, commented on how slim I looked. My daughter, on the other hand, didn’t catch on as easily. Here I thought that my darling, sweet daughter would be able to console me, mainly because lately she’s been shaking her head no to answer everything under the sun.
question: Do you think mommy looks old and ugly?
disappointing answer: Yes, mommy ugly.
Yes, happy birthday to me. But I think the saddest part of all of this is that I only turned twenty-six.
TIP # 6. Unless you can handle the truth, don’t ask your two-year old their opinion. It might result in tears and an empty ice cream tub.
My birthday presents included:
- a heart wrenching insult from my toddler
- a raw hamburger
- a litter of kittens being birthed on my couch
- a new niece and
- a really comfy sheet set
But I wouldn’t change anything because I got to spend it with the family, insults and all.